piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
