I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
