NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
