Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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