Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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