I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
