He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
