I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
