I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
