you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
