so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize