Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
