dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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