I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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