I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
