is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize