I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
