Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
