No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize