i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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