Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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