we made out on top of his cat.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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