New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
