sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
