I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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