i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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