my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
