It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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