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so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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