we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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