AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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