in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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