me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
