Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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