Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
