I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
