Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
