She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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