Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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