Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
