Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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