I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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