My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize