I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
