Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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