oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
