Kiss
Puke
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
