I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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