if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
