accomplished twins. life is a go
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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