I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
