my room smells like sperm. sweet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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