She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
