I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
