you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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