Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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