Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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