It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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