Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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