You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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