I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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