I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
