I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
