Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
