Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
