is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
