I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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