and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm both gender and math confused
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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