Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
